There are times when life feels as though everything is happening at once. The to-do list grows longer, your mind won't switch off, and even simple decisions can suddenly feel exhausting.
When we're overwhelmed, it's easy to believe we need to push harder, do more, or somehow "get a grip." Yet often, what we need most is the opposite: a chance to pause, take a breath, and gently shift our perspective.
These simple mindset changes won't make challenges disappear, but they can help create a little more space, calm and clarity when life feels heavy.
1. Remember: This Is Not an Emergency
When stress takes over, the brain can react as though everyday problems are genuine threats.
Delayed train, unanswered email, difficult conversation or forgotten appointment - they can all trigger the same stress response that was originally designed to keep us safe from danger.
When you notice yourself spiralling, try gently reminding yourself:
"This is not an emergency."
You're not ignoring the situation or pretending it doesn't matter. You're simply putting it into perspective.
Often, once we recognise that we are safe, our thinking becomes clearer and solutions feel easier to reach. Sometimes the answer is simply sending a message, apologising if needed, and moving forward.
2. Just This. I'm Safe Right Now.
Overwhelm often pulls us into the future.
Anxiety asks, "What if?"
Stress asks, "How am I going to cope?"
One way to calm the mind is to bring yourself back to the present moment.
Try saying: "Just this. I'm safe right now."
Then gently notice what's happening around you. Feel your feet against the floor. Notice the cool air as you breathe in through your nose and the warmth of the breath as you exhale through the nose. Listen to the sounds around you.
Grounding yourself in the present moment can interrupt the cycle of anxious thinking and reconnect you with a sense of safety.
3. Swap Self-Criticism for Self-Compassion
When life feels difficult, many of us become our own harshest critic.
We ask ourselves:
"Why am I so sensitive?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Why can't I cope like everyone else?"
But these questions rarely help. More often, they leave us feeling ashamed and exhausted.
Instead, try a gentler approach: "This is hard for me right now."
Simple. Honest. Compassionate – just like you’d be with a friend.
Sometimes acknowledging that something feels difficult is the first step towards finding a way through it.
4. Add the Words "At the Moment"
Our minds have a habit of turning temporary feelings into permanent truths.
"I can't cope."
"I'm hopeless."
"I'm failing."
But what happens if you add three small words? "At the moment."
"I'm struggling at the moment."
"I feel overwhelmed at the moment."
Suddenly there's more room to breathe.
These phrases remind us that feelings change. They are experiences we're having, not definitions of who we are.
5. Let It Be Instead of Letting It Go
We're often told to "let it go."
But if you've ever felt angry, frustrated, anxious, upset or emotionally drained, you'll know that letting go isn't always that simple. Sometimes a kinder approach is to let it be.
Rather than fighting a feeling, fixing it or pushing it away, allow it to exist for a while.
Notice the difference between: "I am anxious." and "I notice I'm feeling anxious."
One becomes part of your identity. The other simply describes your current experience.
Feelings come and go. They influence us, but they are not who we are. Just let them be, allow yourself to be anxious, or sad, or angry - it's perfectly ok to just sit with it.
6. Shrink the Scope of Your Day
When we're overwhelmed, everything can feel urgent. The result? We try to think about absolutely everything at once.
Instead, ask yourself:
"What absolutely needs to happen today?"
Focus on the essentials.
The Eisenhower Principle can be helpful here:
- What is urgent and important? And by important I mean, what can nobody else do? (see below "what can be delegated?")
- What can wait?
- What can be delegated? - and ask yourself, "does it really matter if it's not done how I would do it?" (the answer's "no" btw - let them do it their way, and leave it like that - it's fine)
- What can be removed? if it hasn't been done for weeks, does it really need doing (the answer's "no" (again) btw.
See note below about good enough.
A shorter, realistic list is often far more effective than an impossible one.
7. Ask Yourself, "What Can I Do?"
One of the most compassionate questions we can ask ourselves during difficult times is:
"What can I do today?"
Not: "What should I do?"
Not: "What's the perfect solution?"
Simply: "What can I do today?"
Perhaps it's ordering a healthy takeaway instead of cooking from scratch. Perhaps it's tidying one small corner instead of tackling the whole house.
If you haven’t heard of running the dishwasher twice, here’s what it means: “I can’t be bothered to empty the dishwasher and put everything away, so I’m going to use stuff straight out of it, add the dirty stuff that I’ve used and run it again when it’s full of the clean and the dirty stuff.”
Because running the dishwasher twice makes life easier right now. Good enough is exactly what you need, always.
8. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Perfection has a way of keeping us stuck. Practice makes progress…..there’s no such thing as perfection.
We convince ourselves we'll begin when we have more energy, more confidence, more time or better circumstances so that it'll be perfect.
But meaningful change rarely happens all at once. It starts with small actions. One email. One walk. One phone call. One conversation. One application.
Small steps build momentum, and momentum builds confidence.
9. Remember That Life Is Bigger Than the Problem
When we're struggling, it's easy for the challenge we're facing to become the centre of everything.
Whether it's burnout, anxiety, grief, health concerns or relationship difficulties, we can start believing that life will only improve once the problem is completely solved.
But life doesn't have to wait. Keep seeing friends. Laugh, cry, join the party, leave the party early…..do what you need to do. Keep taking walks. Keep learning new things. Keep making space for the people and activities that matter to you.
As life expands, the problem often takes up a more manageable amount of space.
10. Adjust Your Expectations
Life and relationships can become draining when we focus solely on what life or someone isn't giving us.
Instead of asking:
"Why can't they be different?"
“Why can’t life be better?”
Try asking:
"What's good about this relationship?"
“What good has happened today?”
The friend who struggles to talk about feelings may be incredibly dependable. The family member who avoids difficult conversations may still show up when it truly matters.
Acceptance doesn't mean tolerating unhealthy behaviour, but it can bring a great deal of peace when we recognise people for who they are rather than who we wish they would be.
Try asking: “What good has happened today?”
True Story
Years ago, when my children (18 months between them) were at primary school it was a military exercise to get them out of the door and to school on time, with the right clothes on, the right way around (if you know you know).
We walked to school for breakfast club (8am start) – on a normal day it was a 10 minute walk. I walked home and then drove to work (about a 25 minute commute from home). I had a fancy job, head of department in a law firm. I loved my job but I was at the beck and call of law firm partners – getting into the office before they did was a triumph and a treat - I got some time to do the jobs that were important to me.
Anyway, on this particular day, we could see the school gate when Littlest says “I’ve forgotten my bag”. Bad Mummy says “oh, you’ll be fine without it”. Littlest starts to tear up, Eldest (who is ND) says “we can’t forget our book bags”. Bad Mummy huffs, turns on her heel, nearly giving Littlest one whiplash and the 3 of us stomp back home to get the forgotten bag. As we get to the end of our road a Post Office van turns up outside our door, there’s the Postie with a parcel which would not have fit through the letter box.
Can you see where I’m going here?
Littlest one’s forgotten bag saved me a trip to the Post Office depot to get the parcel.
We have expectations, especially of the familiar, the routine. Adjust your expectations and note the sparkles – the bonuses.
11. Check Back In With Your Values
Whenever you're tempted to avoid something difficult, pause and ask:
"Will avoiding this move me closer to the life I want, or further away from it?"
Avoidance often offers short-term relief.
Values provide long-term direction.
Whether it's setting a boundary, applying for a new role, starting therapy, attending a yoga class, or having an honest conversation, our values help guide us towards the person we want to become.
Even when the path feels uncomfortable.
Final Thoughts
Overwhelm is rarely eased by putting more pressure on ourselves.
More often, it softens when we create a sense of safety, practise self-compassion and focus on the next manageable step rather than the entire journey.
If you're feeling overwhelmed today, take a breath.
Remind yourself that this is not an emergency.
Allow your feelings to be present without letting them define you.
Focus on progress rather than perfection.
And remember, you do not have to do everything today.
Just this moment. Just this step. Just this breath.
For now, that's enough.
You Don't Have to Do It All Alone
If overwhelm, stress, burnout or anxiety have become a regular part of life, support is available. Sometimes a few small mindset shifts can make a difference, and sometimes we need a little extra help to find our way back to balance.
At Being Well Matters, I offer mentoring, coaching, gentle Gitananda Yoga, trauma-informed support and wellbeing resources designed to help you reconnect with a sense of calm, confidence and resilience.
Whether you're navigating burnout, life changes, emotional overwhelm or simply feeling stuck, taking one small step towards support can be the beginning of meaningful change.
Ready to take that next step?
You don't have to have everything figured out today.
Explore coaching, mentoring support, yoga classes, workshops and wellbeing resources that can support your journey towards greater balance and wellbeing.
Sometimes the bravest step is simply reaching out.
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